Had a semi-disastrous run yesterday. My pace was not terrible, but I sure felt rotten. I had meant to go out and do about 14K, walking whenever necessary, but I did about 10. Which, y’know, not a lot of people can even run 10K (except in my neighbourhood of the überfit LuluLemmings and ultramarathoners), so it’s not terrible. However, as my half-marathon is in about six weeks, I’m panicking quite a lot. (Even though, really, I will finish, and just finishing is good, but agh, am I angry at myself.)

The key problems yesterday:

1. I haven’t been running much, especially since I’ve been biking every day. My legs and lungs can only handle so much in the early non-winter.

2. I ate absolutely terribly this week. Lots of deep-fried. Lots of candy (which is pretty abnormal for me). Lots of coffee. Not a lot of water or veg or most things good for me.

3. My allergies are still awful. I made the mistake of taking a decongestant instead of an antihistamine yesterday and, as a result, I started wheezing while walking to the park (four blocks away) where I do my stretches pre-run.

4. I overheated almost immediately, even though temperature was about 13C.

5. I am too fucking lazy too fucking often.

Yes, guys, I’m the victim of my own ego, inertia, and not overcoming my inner ‘but staying in bed longer is so niiiiiiiiiiice’ voice.

Running is not easy, and the times when I’m not trying to breathe through a constricted throat or feeling heavy-legged, I can get a nice endorphin high. Yesterday, not so much. Afterwards, I took my self-pity to a pub (on my bike) to work on some trivia stuff, because that’s something even the physically shattered can do. And the strange thing is that, while I was tired, it wasn’t difficult at all to bike 10K, then walk home from the bike shop (my rear tires keep going flat, and even when they aren’t flat, the ride is hella bumpy, so something’s up with my wheel), so I’m not unfit really, just underprepared. I have six weeks. A lot can happen in that time.

I just have to shut up the stupid feelings of inferiority and defeatism so I can get through 21K without crying/quitting/hiding under my blankets until after May 27. Any ideas? I really do run best when there’s no pressure to do a long or difficult run, but we’re into crunch time where there is actual stress about getting distance in.

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Many of my blog titles have a double meaning, or, at the very least, are a pun. In this case, though, I have to mention something directly related: WHERE MY GIRL GUIDES AT?! I walked by the Girl Guide shop the other day and they’ve apparently cookies been on sale for weeks already. Do they not sell door-to-door anymore? If any of y’all know Brownies or Guides in the Hintonburg/Wellington West/Westboro vicinity, let me know! I WILL BUY SOME COOKIES.

(My mum used to buy these by the case, then freeze them. It was a lovely surprise when she brought out a box in November.)