Favourite Things.

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It’s one of those ‘Oh, coffee, I love you most of all’ kind of mornings, so I will be brief; I’m tired of people who stay in (or, worse, return to) shitty relationships, sometimes with alcoholics or abusive scumbags, sometimes just because things ain’t working due to ordinary compatibility issues, complaining to all and sundry on a daily basis. If things are bad, why stay? Is being miserable every day with someone really better than being alone without them? Obviously, things can be worked on and worked out, but it’s a give-take thing. If you’re propping everything up, you’ll be exhausted and resentful. If your partner is a jerk and a bastard, your staying is validation of that behaviour and perpetuates douchebaggery even more. The world does not need more assholes*.

I know that broken hearts are difficult, believe me I’ve been there, but you can’t make anyone else happy unless you are happy, nor are you responsible for anyone’s happiness but your own (and your progeny, at least when they are very small).

It’s weird how overtiredness can turn me into Oprah. And how much I love not having to answer to anyone when I go for my (now seemingly weekly) bike ride to get a cupcake and a beer.

Here’s a kid who is afraid of dinosaurs.

(* I probably should have used a different word here. My aunt once called a relative an asshole, and my mother corrected her to say “He’s not an asshole. Assholes have a use.” She was right.)

One thought on “Favourite Things.

  1. Jennifer

    I hear ya on this one, with a friend of mine. To some degree she’s trapped by financials anyway (i.e. unemployed), but for years she has vacillated between “But I love him” and 95% of the time he treats her like crap. Maybe eventually she’ll stop loving him and just stomp out in a huff, but if she hasn’t after 25+ years, maybe she never will either. It’s a lot of intermittent reinforcement really, with her focusing on the occasional non-terrible moment instead of the rest of her life where she feels like shit all the time and she has to cater to his every fucking whim.

    “Is being miserable every day with someone really better than being alone without them?” I guess for some people the answer to that is yes. I…well, I say I wouldn’t do it, but what do I know from being abused by a boyfriend? Who’s to say that someday I won’t end up in an abusive relationship too and wonder how I ended up in it but can’t figure out how to leave?

    I try to not judge too much, but I do have frequent “leave him, leave him now, or at least start seriously planning to leave” moments whenever she’s telling me everything awful he did over the last week.

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