Healing chigger bites with mud.


I realised a couple of days ago that I haven’t written anything – not just in this space, but anywhere – in about a month. I mean, obviously I write things like emails for work, Google Hangouts about how why some women don’t appreciate fart jokes, and whiny Facebook statuses, but even my attempts at tweeting hilariously have dwindled.

I’d love to say that it was because I was out enjoying the outdoors, taming my garden into submission, reading loads of books I’ve been meaning to devour for ages, or going to fabulous parties, but nope. We haven’t even been going to trivia much this summer, and I haven’t played Euchre with the lads since early June.

By and large, I’ve just been really, really lazy. Too lazy to even process anything that’s happening. Here are a few brief recaps of selected things:

  1. I went to Montréal to see Professor Blastoff do a recording (with the very exuberant Bo Burnham) in a tiny hotel conference room. It was fun. I made eye contact with David Huntsberger, who has very nice eyes indeed. Tig smiles a lot and so, surprisingly (given that he acts a grump so much) does Kyle Dunnigan. Aaron, to the surprise of all, found/played a relevant clip. I bought a poster and got it signed. R. and I had lunch at what turned out to be a gay bar (‘Huh, there are nearly naked men on this sandwich menu’, ‘The men’s room has…well, a lot of horizontal surfaces’). We tried to celebrity spot in the bar at the Hyatt, but only saw Rich Hall (twice).* We decided we were too old/tired (we had to be at the train station at 6am to take the Greyhound and ended up on a space train car (seriously, it was a lovely new carriage with fancy features), but not before I lost my ticket within about 20 minutes of its purchase. I managed to sleep for part of both journeys without leaning out into the aisle so far as to wake myself up with a jolt. I am a talent.
  2. I went to Toronto for lunch, which is not something normal people do. I even rented a car because I didn’t want to do the journey without air-conditioning. Joe (British) and Jan (American) were literally in the country for one day as part of a road trip from Ohio to Boston via Niagara Falls. That is not something normal people do either. So we non-normals (and Jackie, who, y’know, just walked to lunch from work – but she might not want to be classified as normal) had preposterously cheap lunch at a Vietnamese place on Spadina, then went for a wander around Kensington Market (got my Moonbean fix, fuck yeaaaah), headed back to our cars, then said our goodbyes. I thought that by 3pm, rush hour would only just be beginning. Nope. I had endeavoured to take the scenic Highway 7 home over the boring 401 and it took me about 90 minutes just to get to Whitby (to those who don’t know the GTA, that isn’t very far). I remembered everything about why I never drive to/in Toronto in those 90 minutes, but thanked myself (actually) for buying a phone charger for the car so that I could listen to podcasts and loud, dorky music for the whole journey, including the bits when I had to pull over due to monsoon-like rain. (Near-drownings aside, Highway 7 *is* nice once you get out into the country, BTW.)
  3. The bookkeeper told me I need a vacation. I am actually trying to think of things that I can sell to help fund one right now, because the above daytrips? Were actually quite spendy in the end because I did that stupid thing where I thought ‘Well, I’m not getting a “real” vacation, might as well SPEND SPEND SPEND’. Whoops.

That kind of update is kind of shit, eh? Might start a new blogging everyday challenge. There is a lot of stuff stored in my brain that could be far more entertaining or instructive or just plain interesting. Maybe. Probably. Should I try it out again?

Oh, the vague health stuff I posted about in June? Well, surgery went fine, recovery well, and the person in question is back at work as of last week. Woo! Science!

*I wonder if the universe is trying to tell me to meet him? He was, literally, in three shows I saw in Edinburgh in 2008, even though I only went to one show (a book reading) for which he was on the poster.

2 thoughts on “Healing chigger bites with mud.

  1. rachel

    yes please start a “blog every day” challenge! also, what is the chigger bites reference? i have experience with those: when the roof blew off the vet clinic where i was working in oklahoma in 2004, my boss closed the clinic for one day, then reopened doing appointments on the front lawn. i sustained many chigger bites. the ladies that worked with me told me that the best way to treat them is by application of bleach. this stung like a sonofabitch and in retrospect, i think they just wanted to see if the clueless foreigner would actually fall for this advice!

    • megan

      It’s from a text-based game from the early 1980s called ‘Adventureland’, where one of the greatest perils was dying of chigger bites. You had to get magic mud from the swamp, or you would perish. My seven-year-old self was never very good at that game.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.