Isoamyl acetate.


People of the World, can we agree that things like lab-made ‘green apple’ dish soap and ‘tropical-flavoured’ gum are vile, do not provide any sense of ‘freshness’ or cleanliness, and should be eliminated?

Fake fruit breath is horrid and, though I am just as duped as everyone else because I like some ‘rain’ scents of detergent, aside from maybe lemon or mint, I don’t want my dishes to smell of food *after* they’ve been cleaned.

I was in a pub last night and the loos had one of those automatic ‘freshens-every-10-minutes’ devices on the wall. The scent? Grapefruit, something I find horrid at the best of times. The effect? A chemically grapefruit and poo combination that should never happen ever. And then I washed my hands and the soap was cherry-scented. Worst fruit salad ever.

Stop the madness! You’re fooling no one! Clean things! Get better air filters! Leave fruity things (like, y’know, actual fruit) for eating!

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