I remember hearing about barnacle cement a few years ago (probably on QI, because who the fuck reads anymore) and how its adhesive qualities are so great that, aside from making an excellent glue for sticking arthropods to ship hulls, it’s being studied for a variety of potential biomedical uses. Very cool shit.

But I have other candidates that also need to be investigated, sticking-wise:

  1. Dried on corn flakes. Given that it takes much soaking, scrubbing, rinsing, rescrubbing, fingernail picking, prayer, yet more scrubbing, etc. to get the bastards off a bowl, surely it should be used as a superstrength mortar.
  2. Slightly overcooked oatmeal. It looks like concrete and could probably be used as it instead. Similar applications to corn flakes, surely.
  3. The cellophane that OB uses to wrap its tampons. While not a glue, it is well-known as the statickiest shit on the planet, sticking to fingers, walls, the outside of sanitary waste bins, etc. It may actually defy the laws of gravity because it really fights any attempt to make it drop. As for uses, maybe some kind of thing to prevent people or things falling off mountains?
  4. The crottes that were in the corner of my eyes this morning. Which, now that I think of it, may have actually been barnacle cement.

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