I know that this time of year is supposed to be all positive and about bettering oneself, but I’m not very good at that first part sometimes, so here’s a list of ten things people need to stop doing.
1. ‘Entertainment Tonight’ presenters (and the like) need to stop calling it the ‘CONN’ Film Festival. ‘Cannes’ is pronounced quite like the English word ‘Can’. Don’t try to be fancy. (Alex Trebek can cut out the weird ‘authentic’ pronunciation of Spanish/German/Esperanto words too.)
2. Everyone on the bus needs to stop pretending that winter outerwear doesn’t need cleaning and the boots don’t need de-stinking, because they really fucking need attention. Blech.
3. Customers need to stop asking to ‘move the subtitles’ on films so they can be more easily read. Yes, white text on a light background is a pain in the arse to read, but it’s not our fault. Really. Stop asking/emailing/yelling.
4. Lindsay Lohan (and the like) need to stop, assess their lives, and maybe go do some good. Go volunteer at a soup kitchen in Tulsa and don’t invite the paparazzi, perhaps.
5. Prime Minister Harper needs to stop pretending that Idle No More doesn’t warrant his attention.
6. My cat needs to stop changing sleeping positions (largely around my head or on my torso) every hour at night. Dude sleeps in the same place ALL DAY (in his cat bed in the living room, which is right by a heating vent) during the day, so I know he’s capable.
7. Hollywood needs to stop remaking perfectly good films, and, of course, the crap ones. Not sure where to include Total Recall in this mix, because the original is kind of a hot mess, but I love it.
8. Hollywood also needs to stop defaulting to making sequels/ruining franchises. (That having been said, yay Star Trek!)
9. Everyone on Facebook who hasn’t figured how to create an album on Facebook and posts individual photos endlessly (like, dozens in a day) needs to stop doing that.
10. I really need to sit down and write things other than lists at some point. Oh, and get back to work.