(The title comes from a particularly daft boss I had way back in the early 90s who would frequently talk about ‘soluting’ problems. Her name was Barbi too. Self-fulfilling prophecy, parents, so beware before you decide to name your kid after Snooki or Wayne Rooney.)

Yeah, well done, me; start 2012 on a negative note!

I’m not (usually) one for omens and such, but I’m so ill-rested (less than five hours of sleep and a hangover…yay) and kind of self-loathy owing to being single in my mid-30s, which is, of course, amplified hugely by the holidays, because I’m nothing if not a cliché sometimes. But man, woe is me/first world problems, I don’t have a big family/a special someone/etc. And I didn’t get the slippers I asked for for Christmas, so I’m going to have to buy some for myself. Pathetic.

My rational bits, of course, know that this whole ‘season’ is really just a series of arbitrary dates on a manmade calendar that means nothing in a universal sense. Jesus might have been born in spring. Saturnalia might have been too big a deal so things were switched around to cover the debauchery up. Or maybe the Mithras story is what we should be thinking about this time of year. Or, y’know, maybe we’re just here arbitrarily. I really am a rubbishy agnostic in that I can’t be arsed to really explore the big questions involving spirituality: I don’t know. I will probably never know. I leave it at that and try to be a good person. Sometimes this works, other times not. I really do worry too much and have so much contempt for people who don’t make an effort.

Anyway, my point is that I don’t do resolutions on January 1 because the date for trying to make positive change matters not one bit. Plus, you can’t get a spot on the floor of a yoga class for the first three weeks of January anyway and I’m always too tired to contemplate a German class at this time of year.

On top of the artifice of the Gregorian calendar, New Year’s Eve is additionally irritating for reasons of unreasonable expectations, volume, and vomit. The spinsterness and winter doldrums don’t help make it better.

That having been said, we did watch the Muppets ‘Bohemian Rhapsody‘ on the cinema screen last night (after watching my all-time favourite, The Apartment), which is incomparably awesome. So New Year’s may be a ridiculous, made-up, superhyped extravaganza, but that doesn’t mean it’s all bad.

Now to settle in for some Advil with a caffeine chaser. Happy 2012!

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