Riding the rails without Misters Bird and/or Johnson.


So, the audition happened. Here are notes I scribbled while waiting in the hallway for them to come out and take our photos:

  • If all else fails, at least you get a free pen.
  • Noticed I had a hole in my sweater after I arrived.
  • Very few women here. Oh, wait, here are more. Maybe 1/3 are women.
  • Everyone is so nervous that they aren’t speaking to one another.

Well, do I need the benefit of time to reflect properly? Maybe. I can see why one of the candidates who had tried out previously was not chosen (he was very quiet and possessed no apparent sense of humour), but I’m not sure how I did.

I can’t talk about the questions they ask, as they use the same ones for all the contestant searches in a given year, but it was frustrating that movie questions I answered were about terrible, terrible films and that I forgot the colloquial name of an ongoing news event of the last three years. Good times.

For all the stories I wrote down, they didn’t ask me about any of them. They were more interested in the cinema, which was cool, and that I knew an employee of CBS (kinda) – they asked what he did (‘Married a friend of mine? Now makes TV?’) – because you have to list anyone you know who works for any company related to show on the application. Which, y’know, I could have skipped, but I didn’t want to be rejected if they found out I lied.

Did you know I’m a goody-goody? No? Now you do.

They also told me that my hair was ‘perfection’, which was a bit weird, but I guess it’s a casting process, right? Maybe appearance does matter sometimes? Or maybe they were just being nice. At any rate, I’ll let Al know that I can wash, go, and impress television people. He’ll probably be delighted (in his wonderful, deadpan way).

I had fun, so that’s important, but I have no idea if I was successful. Only 2500 out of 200000+ people who wrote the online test made it to this stage, and only 400 or so make it on the show in a given season. Which are not great odds.

But yay! I auditioned for Jeopardy! And it was only kinda scary in the end!

Big ups to Jackie for letting my crash at her place, which is lovely, despite its elevator issues. Heh.

I spent the rest of the day getting baked by the sun and trying to buy trousers, but was unsuccessful. Turns out that size 14 is frequently too big, but I fill size 12s to capacity (tm Edina Monsoon) in a way that impedes normal organ function. Additionally, size 12 is at least as elusive as size 14 in all the stores I tried. What gives, Toronto?

I also tried on a pair of jeggings for the first time (they were red plaid! I had to!), but y’all will be delighted to know that they didn’t fit and I therefore did not buy them. Sometimes my thigh girth can prevent my making a terrible decision. They have super powers that way.

Now, back to real life and a long wait (potentially 18 months!!) to find out if I was successful. Thank you all for your help and encouragement during this ridiculous and obnoxious time.

3 thoughts on “Riding the rails without Misters Bird and/or Johnson.

  1. Erica

    I know you can’t reveal specifics, but there was an actual practice game, right? With buzzers? I’m dying to know if that happened. Was there anyone with insanely quick-draw buzzer speed? Did you do the ring in and blank out thing that everyone fears?

    • megan

      Oh, yes. There was a fifty question written test, then a practice round (three people at a time), and the ‘interview’ portion.

      And yes, did that blank out thing once. THE WORST.

      And no one was zippity quick on the buzzers. It was pretty even.

  2. Katy

    For what it’s worth, three people of the four people I know personally who have been on Jeopardy! are women. The fourth is a profoundly awkward friend of my brother’s from high school.

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