I am doing a challenge to write 750 words every day in May (on Day Two and I hit paydirt. Well, dirt. Here are some of the one-line stories I wrote today/in the last hour or so. I might post more on Twitter in the coming days.

  • There once was a little boy who lived in a marshmallow house with jujube windows. He died of osmosis-acquired diabetic complications.
  • Once upon a time, there was a cockroach. He was killed by a shoe.
  • All his life, Tom dreamed of going to Thailand. None of those dreams lived up to the reality: syphilis and a screaming case of the shits.
  • Hannah got into her first-choice university, then realised that she didn’t know how to read.
  • In a tiny house, with a rambling garden, at the end of a winding road, some people died.
  • A writer sat down to write, but ended up watching fifteen episodes on Golden Girls on YouTube instead. (Based on a true story.)
  • Hannibal Lecter travelled to Polynesia in hopes of finding people who wouldn’t mind being eaten. Turns out, even cannibals don’t like that.
  • The cat who lived in the bookstore survived on a diet of spilled lattes and tote bags.
  • Charlie fell asleep at the wheel and ended up turning her fingers into yarn. They made a lovely, if meaty, sweater.
  • Michael Jackson wasn’t named after Michael Jackson, which was almost a blessing.
  • The Terminator would have been less angry if someone had bought him some Visine.
  • The newspaper delivery boy was thrilled about his new job, until her realised that nobody read newspapers anymore.
  • Filene kept a lot of crap in her attic as well.
  • The gardener was no pacifist. His black thumb made sure of that.
  • Oddly, Bran Stark has terrible trouble with constipation.
  • The cyclist nearly ran into a parked car while distracted by a cyclist who was biking down the wrong side of the road. (Also based on a true story.)

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