P: Have you heard of Robbie Burns Scotch?
M: No. Where’s it from?
M (trying not to roll eyes): Right. Of course.
P: I found it online and the reviews are pretty good.
M (doing a Google search): Hm, okay. Oh, it’s from Arran. Now is that one I’ve been to, or just seen? I think I’ve just seen it. Hm.
P: Does it look like something you’d like?
M: Well…Light? Fruity? Not really. I like my whisky angry.
P (curling up his nose): Really?
M: A smoky, peaty mess. A punch in the face.
P (disappointed): Oh.
M: I mean, I’d probably be okay with it, but it’s not something I’m gonna love, I can tell you that. Also, I haven’t been drinking whisky much. Psychological worries. I feel weird about drinking whisky alone.
P: Eh, if someone else is home, you’re not drinking alone.
M (to herself, later): Hm, it’s good thing I don’t like my men, or my friends, like I like my whisky, especially with this kind of snobbish attitude. Why isn’t everyone punching me always?