Man, it’s the most romantic day of the year, or so Hallmark et al. would have us believe, and guess what? I totally got proposed to. Today, as it was at 12:30am. Lucky, lucky me!
Of course, it was by Kirk and he did it to basically commit insurance fraud, so that the crown I need would be covered by his group plan. And he didn’t so much ask as say ‘We should get married’ to roars of laughter from the other two Euchrians.
This is my second unsuitable proposal. The first was a homeless man whose friend tried to buy a movie ticket with some of the change he’d collected panhandling, but was a) too drunk to admit and b) short about three dollars. My suitor apologised for his friend, told me I was an angel, then asked if I would marry him with a ‘I don’t have much, but you can have everything I have.’
Elizabeth Bennet, eat your heart out.
But I’m not going to complain, much, about being single. In fact, I’d like to alert my friends that I’m okay with it, that they don’t need to worry that I’m omg alone (seriously, don’t), suggest that I try x online dating site, or ‘lower my standards’ (that homeless dude did have lovely breath – from drinking Listerine, I reckon). I’m okay alone for now. I’m more willing to be out there in the world, but overtness is not my style. If it happens, it happens. If not, well, I’ll figure out how to make my spinster life even more awesome.
—
Speaking of dream men, read this, nodding in agreement: The Benedict Cumberbatch Situation.
My first and only proposal was from my grandfather. I told him I appreciated the offer but that I didn’t think that was legal in Ontario. (He was suffering dementia.)
I was once proposed to in the canned fruit aisle at the grocery store. I was reading the label on a can of cherry pie filling and muttered to myself “this is disgusting, I’ll make my own pie!” The (20 or so years older than I) man standing next to me turned to me and said “Will you marry me?”
Then he turned to the woman he was with (in his age group) and said “see, she can do it, why can’t you?”