My friend Rachel (who is two days younger than I am) always said that she first knew she was old when she realised it was too late for her to train long/hard enough to go to the Olympics. Well, suck it, Rachel, I’m gonna go in four years! (Oh, and shush about her only being 26.)

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Last night (by which I mean about an hour ago, since I’m pre-writing this bit), I said the word ‘helmet’ a bit funnily and three seconds later had the theme from ‘Alice’ in my head.

‘Say what?’

Let me explain.

Helmet made me think of Jason Priestley saying ‘Hello Helllllmut’ on ‘Love Werks‘ (‘Sprockets’ – sorry, no full clip available online).

Jason Priestley is in the new ‘New Girl’-themed Old Navy commercials.

And the ‘Alice’ theme is this.

This kind of brain pathing makes me kinda good at trivia. Unfortunately, it makes me crap at things like remembering to return library books or do laundry until I’m out of clean underwear because, instead of focussing on the essentials, I’ll go bake cupcakes or wonder about the development of Borax and what that mule thing is about.

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Does anyone (aside from Jackie and I) (briefly) ponder  unfriending people on Facebook who, for example, use ‘lol’ as punctuation, or just reply ‘sooooo cute’ or ‘soooooo funny’ without adding anything further? I’m not talking best friends, but maybe people with whom you worked years ago, or someone you knew in junior kindergarten but haven’t spoken to in person since 1983. I’ve defriended one person ever (for being a sexist snotbag), so this really is just persnicketiness talking, but good lord, people, use your brains and your words, okay? The youth of today are depending on us to show the way. Let’s not make the universe less thoughtful and a whole lot dumber.

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Speaking of dumber, here’s a chat that started with my underreading this (largely very true) article (no, I don’t know how I did that either). It also references this video:

M: Maybe I have amnesia.
from the awesomeness of thinking about kicking banana trees

R: Watch the video
It’s crazy

M: I did.

R: It’s a youngish tree, sure, but dude kicks it the fuck down
shins of frigging titanium

M: Also, they aren’t trees.

R: Tell that to 99% of the people you talk to, poindexter

M: I do. That’s why I don’t have friends.